You may have read recently about the incident of hazing in a college major. Hazing is an extreme example of peer pressure.
Before we talk about how to deal with it, we will define peer pressure.
Peer pressure is very simple to one person or more, exercising some influence over another person to behave or act a certain way in exchange for the second person to be "accepted" as part of a group. Such pressure can be exerted in a healthy or unhealthy, most children or adults, and to drive results that are positive or negative.
Let it break. Three elements must be present to peer pressure to be exercised effectively.
1. Commander of a definite act - the person must be influenced to commit said some pre-defined action. It's not peer pressure, if your child says, "be yourself" or "do what you feel is the best." No, the person exercising the influence has strict rules on the expected behavior . For example if I said that your child: "I want, at exactly five o'clock, to go out of your room screaming," Fire, fire! ", now it's peer pressure. It is given as a command to be carried out exactly as the person who wants to communicate that he carried. No deviation, no improvisation.
2. Reward - the person being ordered to act in a certain way should be offered a reward. The reward can be accepted in a group, a "badge", ie a title or other reward, usually non-monetary. The reward is promised instantly which is why peer pressure is very effective.
3. Compliance - remember that often if not always, peer pressure to commit a certain act, gets its legitimacy from compliance supported by "peers", ie people like your child. They can be classmates, coworkers, same sex, same courses etc.
This last part is very important. Compliance by other lulls the kid into thinking it's something special, because many of his colleagues go through the same ritual.
So how do you get your child to stand up and say no.
Before you start preaching or preventing your child not to fall prey to peer pressure, to open his mind. Ask him series of simple questions, perhaps because you are trying to understand his situation. Then, once you know if the three conditions I have described are present, you should always let your child walk first in itself. You can ask pointed questions. For example, instead of something destructive that your child is told, him against the "leader" of the group to ask him to do the act, with the offer to do something useful and necessary. So if that school. let the leader know you think of an act better and sustainable performance peer is to help someone in need. Then ask your child to challenge the leader by asking, "I'm sure you think this act of kindness is something you not only comfortable with, but actively encourage others to do it.
